Diary of a Graceful High Schooler
by Madame Pika
Summary: High School AU, but rather different from the usual one and not just in the way it's in a diary format. One shot. Student Urara struggles her way to get higher on the popularity ladder since that is the most important thing?


**The Diary of a Graceful High Schooler**

Dear Diary,

Today I started the summer term and we got a new student. I don't know why a student would transfer over in the summer term. Her name is Serena and she's already made friends with the overly lucky girl. You know the one.

It wasn't too surprising. After all, they put Serena with the class rep and the class rep instantly put her with the other girls in her friendship group. I don't know why but their friendship group is gender segregated. I think it's an evil plan on that girl's part. The one with the red hair.

I on the other hand have a great male friend. Okay, maybe more of a study partner. To be honest, the only reason Nakanishi kun lets me hang around him is that when I'm around that guy friend of Hikari's doesn't think Nakanishi kun needs any more friends we just read together. That's still better than Hikari and her pathetic friendship. Nakanishi kun and I have things in common. That's what our bond is based on.

Nakanishi kun is rough, intelligent and able to see the bad in people. I'm more stylish with it but I'm just as tough. My intelligence is like everything else about me perfect. Our cynicism is as beautiful as I am.

Dear Diary,

Got in an argument with Hikari today. No surprise there. She is the cute to my elegance, only she can't understand people very well. Not too surprising since she gets things easily with her cuteness and she has perfected the trend to a t. If she admitted to being just another moe girl, I could take her attitude but as it is, she needs to be proven wrong.

Dear Diary,

Test results back for geography. It was hard studying that much but now I've got an easy grade.

Dear Diary,

I miss elementary school. I had fun there. I was considered cute and people actually respected me. I had a huge gang of girls and we were the popular crowd. It was awesome. Then slowly they disappeared one by one. Some times they just found other friends and sometimes they shouted at me about being a 'arrogant stuck up bitch'. Either way they left. By middle school, I was alone. I miss elementary school. Cuteness doesn't last forever so I must power forward with more timeless ideas.

Dear Diary,

I hate that the only thing I can do is talk. If it gets out that I've been doing things to hold Hikari back in class and make it so that people don't see her as much and she gets too stressed out to work than that makes me look bad. If I fight her again that makes her look bad. I asked Nakanishi kun once to do something to ensure that she stopped coming to school for a while and he was like 'what, try to poison her or something.' If she became sick or died that would only increase her moe moe ways. Even talking isn't helping much. I guess I'll just have to wait until they acquire some taste.

Dear Diary,

That guy friend of Hikari tried talking to Nakanishi kun today. If it hadn't been so annoying it would have been hysterical. Nakanishi kun was pretty cool, just ignoring the guy. He just continued reading his book. I like being around Nakanishi kun. Idiots are less likely to come up to me when he's around.

I asked him to come around to my place to cheer himself up. He's with mum at the moment. They don't seem to get along but Nakanishi kun has never complained about being around her and whenever we have to study together will always suggest going to mine. I guess it's because I'm so much richer than he is. Honestly, I don't know how his brother is able to go around wearing such a scruffy outfit. He's picked Nakanishi kun up from here a few times and each time has just lazily pulled his hair back into a scruffy pony tail. I asked Nakanishi kun about it and he said that his brother always looks like that. Apparently he has a habit of wearing an apron all the time too. Anyway, he's as embarrassed by his brother's nature as I am.

Dear Diary,

One of the cheerleaders left the squad today. I was sure to apply. Only thing is that I had to cheer with that stupid Hikari. She was all smarmy and 'I won't make you look bad and I'll be really nice' during before the try outs. She didn't make me look bad, alright. Stupid girl fell over. I continued with the routine as though nothing were happening which is what she should have done but no, I was told I should have helped her up. I'm not the established cheerleader here. She did say that she would help me. Her 'friends' were of course all on her side.

I went to find Nakanishi kun. He was with Jun. Jun's crush on Nakanishi kun is getting tiresome. He's hard to be around. He keeps on trying to get Nakanishi kun to notice him. Nakanishi kun is polite though. Too polite. I was the one that needed his attention.

Still, I was told that I was the best looking cheerleader by one of the boys. That's something I guess.

Dear Diary,

Group projects. Nakanishi kun and I are working together. It's pretty great. I take Nakanishi kun home and he does all the work. He wouldn't let me join in if I tried. I can just laze around and eat ice cream.

The project is to 'create a typical conversation that may have happened regarding gender in the Meji Era.' Nakanishi kun already got out various books during lunch time. All I have to do is make the conversation sound natural after he's finished everything else. He's so inept he can't do that himself.

Dear Diary,

Today

Dear Diary,

It's been a while since I last wrote in here. In fact, I've a new school year since then. Serena turned out to be interesting. She's currently dating Satoshi I think. They might not be. They spend a lot of time together anyway. Shinji kun and I got 100% on our project that I mentioned. Shinji moved into class B though. No more projects together. Such a pain. He was the prefect partner. I think that for the next one, I'l be working with Haruka. She's such an idiot that that will be a complete pain. I tried complaining to Reiji san about it but he just said that calling her an idiot wasn't very nice and that no one should use language like that. I don't understand why words that we're not supposed to use exist. She's still an idiot though.

This time, I'm on the cheer team. I got in since Hikari decided that this year she wanted to do preforming arts instead. I don't know why she didn't do what I'm doing and doing preforming arts instead. They've decided to make it so that everyone has to join at least one club. Shinji kun joined the literature club, but since it's spending time with people and they don't spend all their time reading he still hates it.

School work has increased a lot. I mean they're no room for messing around anymore. I don't see how anyone has the time for romance.

Today, I woke up and experimented with a new hair style. I have gorgeous pink hair and usually I put it in really cool twirly pig tails but today I let it hang down and put this beautiful ribbon in. I looked amazing. Only at school Sensei said that I looked over the top.

I had even made sure that it matched our uniform. It's a nice uniform: black and white with a skirt that is just the right length. Hikari looks pathetic in it and really attention grabbing but on me the skirt looks cute and elegant. There's also a sailor top that really shows off my figure nicely. I mean not as nicely as the clothes that I choose for myself but it works really nicely. When I went in, not merely enough people noticed me but those that did were so jealous.

Dear Diary,

Mum says that I'm going to stay at Shinji kun's for the weekend. She needs to go on business and Dad needs a break from me. She's already arranged things with the them. She didn't say anything to me despite the fact that I can look after myself. I've packed everything though. It's still not fair.

Dear Diary,

Sometimes, it's more entertaining watching Shinji kun ignore Satoshi or Jun than it is bothering with Hikari. Take today for example. Satoshi was screaming the school down. Apparently Shinji kun had hurt one of his pets or something. Shinji kun was uninterested in apologising to Satoshi. He said that he had better things to do. That was pretty normal. What was entertaining though was when Satoshi took Shinji kun's book from Shinji hands and ripped it up causing Shinji kun to glare at Satoshi. Satoshi kept on thrashing around like a little baby and all Shinji kun did was say "You know, you're going to end up paying for that." Sometimes Satoshi would try hitting Shinji kun but Shinji kun just dodged him with ease. Satoshi continued looking more and more pathetic though, until Takeshi held him back.

Surprisingly, it was Hikari who made sure that Shinji kun got his money back.

Jun can be just as bad though. He'll be different though. Never violent but then that would rather defeat the point. He wants to date Shinji. He really really wants to date Shinji. His tactic, as far as I can tell anyway is to scream at Shinji about how much he admires Shinji. Shinji told me that he enjoyed having a fan. I am not making that up.

Dear Diary,

That was... interesting.

I'll begin from the start so that future readers may get a sense of exactly how I felt and feel, when I become famous.

I walked up to the Nakinishi place when as I circled the road, a middle schooler ran into me. I could tell since it was my old middle school uniform. It looked so much better on me to the surprise of nobody. Anyway, she apologised then said that 'she'd make a better effort but was already late to seeing her boyfriend'. Then we started walking the same way. I felt a bit nervous but when we came to the apartments and she happily pressed Shinji's number, I felt angry. "How could he date before me?"

She giggled. I hate how she giggled. I looked at that piece of paper and realised that I was in the right place. I quickly decided that this girl was way too cute for Shinji. I mean she actully looks like a proper girl: moe and all that stuff. She was wearing a cutie little pink, blue, brown and yellow bracelet and had a girly pigtail on one side of her head. I wondered if Shinji ever wanted to pull it till it bleed. Blond hair and blue eyes.

Shinji came down and grunted at the sight of us. "Urara kun, Eureka, you're here at the same time. What a shame." I wanted to turn around. I wanted to see this Eureka have her heart torn into a hundred pieces.

Reiji came down though before I could make up my mind. "Hello, Eureka chan." Then I put two and two together. I just didn't know what to think. I was frozen stuck. Eureka reached up and kissed Reiji on the check.

She's well above his level too.

I felt disgusted in her. How could she lower herself like that? Shinji took my wrist and pulled on it. He keft on whining, I don't know what about. I couldn't concentrate on my work though. I stopped after a while. I don't know how I'm going to survive a whole night.

Dear Diary.

Shinji came up to me and apologised about the fact that his brother's dating someone so much younger than him and said that that was why he'd been embarrassed to have me over before.

All this time, I thought I was impressing him with my riches and now it turns out to be something like this.

I don't want to work with Shinji anymore. It's not like he's even helped me take down Hikari all that much. I've been having to do that myself. I haven't got very far: even when I trip her up she just gets right back up again.

I don't want to consider this guy a friend anymore. All he ever wants to do is study. His brother is out on a date and he hasn't even cracked a smile at being left alone with a pretty girl. What's with him? Why isn't he trying to take advantage of the situation? He then started to doddle in his book. It was a little painful.

Dear Diary,

As I was leaving Shinji and Reiji's, Eureka came to walk with me. She offered to carry my things so I shoved them in her arms. She asked what I had packed. I thought she was whining but then I realised how happy she was and her arms hadn't relaxed at all. I told her that I packed all the essentials: make up, dresses for any occasion and naturally extra food and drinks so that I don't have to drink their strange shakes and stuff. I don't really want to try them. She laughed at that.

I guess it would make sense that Reiji would date a hippy.

She then asked if I liked Shinji. I told her that Shinji was useful enough. She asked me if Shinji liked me and I smirked. Of course Shinji likes me: how can anyone not like me. Even so, Shinji isn't that good at liking people so I decided to sympathetically give her an answer. I told her that Shinji admired me. Eureka asked what power it was that I held.

I looked at myself. There was no way that she could miss out on how rich I was. I think that that was when I realised that there was something odd about this whole thing. I asked her what she meant and she said that she had known Reiji 'chan' and Shinji for a long time and that Shinji had never really been interested in making friends. I said that I'm sure that Shinji sees me as a friend though I see it differently: Shinji was a tool and once I had my popularity that I rightly deserve, I plan to abandon the embarrassment.

Eureka smiled and said that we're a good match. She told me about Reiji. How he had come round to her school whilst he was in university since they had a suitable sports field but the university one had been destroyed for a reason that I've forgotten. Eureka told me about how she'd agreed to help Reiji look after the team and how he'd played with her.

Suddenly I begun to feel sick. I realised exactly why Shinji had been apologising when we first met. I brushed off the feeling though.

I asked her about how she had dealt with Reiji dropping out of university. She smiled and said that she supported him just as he's supported her many times. I wanted to ask more questions on the matter but she changed the subject. "Do you want to be friends? You seem like you could do with a good friendship."

I didn't know what to say. I don't think it'll do anything for my reputation but I found myself saying yes. So now I'm friends with Eureka.

Dear Diary,

Mum doesn't want me to go around to Reiji and Shinji's before. Dad was really angry about Reiji dating Eureka. I don't blame him.

I wish I was younger. I want to find their relationship cute again. I'd have loved them as a kid. It would have felt like 'love can break through all the barriers and transcend anything.' Love of course in reality is just a choice of who to end up having sex with for the rest of your life. The barriers are there to protect the weak. I wonder how weak Eureka is. She seemed pretty sweet but then some of her questions were pretty dumb. I guess she could need protecting. I doubt Reiji would harm her though. Maybe Shinji is protecting her.

I think that Shinji can still come here.

Maybe I should invite Shinji and Eureka over at the same time.

Dear Diary,

I wish Eureka was older. It's boring only having Shinji to talk to at school.

I ended up talking to Hikari. Sometimes she has some interesting things to say. Today wasn't one of those times. She just kept on talking about her boyfriend. Life is about more than just boys. Why doesn't she get that? I tried steering the topic to how she hurt me, how she should and how any decent person would have stepped down from the team and let the true cheerleader take her place. She just wanted to talk about how awesome Shigeru was though. I noticed another boy grimacing at her talk. Pathetic.

I don't get Hikari at all. When she's talking to guys she can talk about anything. It does amuse me though that she thinks we're friends just because I haven't done anything in a while. I think I'll leave it like that. Let my next plan surprise her.

Dear Diary,

I watched a play with my parents today. I'd love to be an actress. Not on the TV and especially not in a soap. I don't want to act for the sake of the thick and addicted after all. I'd like to be up on the stage preforming the classics.

The preforming arts club is pretty rubbish at my school though. They just proform trashy books and cutesy characters. I can't stand this trend. I hope it ends soon. Maybe someday I'll be able to go to America and learn there. Maybe I won't want to. Maybe I wouldn't be better designing great costumes or great sets.

It doesn't really matter now at least.

Hikari was a few rows ahead with a woman I guess is her mother. Must have had her young.

Hikari... I haven't really said much about her in here. It occures to me now that I don't really know much about her. I know enough to judge of course. Don't get me wrong. However, I know very little about her. I don't know what I want to know about her, unless I can use it in some way.

I don't know how I can to deal with her at the moment. I wish I had some dirt on her.

Dear Diary,

I mentioned my problem to Shinji. He asked me why getting under Hikari's skin was so important anyway.

I don't get why he of all people would say such a thing. What nerve. I mean his relationship with Satoshi is the ridiculous one. Actually Shinji's relationship with more people is ridiculous. He doesn't get on with his brother because his brother dropped out of university and doesn't like any of Reiji's friends because they're all fine with that, especially Sumomo, Reiji's best friend and I don't even know what is going on with Shinji and Eureka. I think that I've proven that Shinji has no right to be asking about my relationships.

I didn't tell him anything since there is no need for him to know anything. I might have told Eureka though, if she had asked. I'd tell her about how Hikari is too lucky and uses terrible techniques and needs to be told that she's doing badly. I'm being a good person: a bigger kinder person. Eureka is more of a friend than Shinji is. If Eureka was old enough to go to High School, I'd drop Shinji in a second.

I should have spoken to Eureka instead.

Dear Diary

I'm feeling nostalgic again. I remember when I first went to school. I was fearless. I was awesome and now everyone would know. I had put on my best dress. It feels like a pretty tacky dress now: too shiny and sparkly. It was pink and light blue (and I mean really light, almost white). I think I liked the blue more than the pink. It just seemed so elegant. I really wanted to be seen as elegant.

The other girls though were still in the mud pie stage though. I remember making dresses either by drawing them or with dress up materials and sometimes glitter, paper and so on. Then at the end of the day, a stupid boy would ruin everything, ripping my skirts, tossing me into the mud.

My parents complained about the boy but nothing was done. The boy always seemed very spoiled to me.

Then one week another boy came in. He watched this happen a few times then one day he helped me to make the dress. He put chicken wire under the skirt. I was confused about what he was doing but when the stupid boy came it all became clear. His first push, lead to him squealing in pain. It was a joy to hear. His second tug, lead to blood though. He wailed in the corner for the rest of the day. I never saw the boy who helped me again.

The stupid boy learned to wear gloves when picking on me. What did I learn? I don't know. There's no moral for me.

I wonder why the helpful boy left. He could have been my first friend. Instead it was a girl named Modori. I don't remember much about her. She had a party with a disco and those cheese things that were all the range back then.

Later, I formed a friendship group, once they grew out of the mud pie stages. I was a fast maturer. I still am.

Dear Diary

I met Eureka and Reiji at the mall today. I didn't plan to. I just saw them there. At first I was hesitant in going over. It's rude to interrupt a date after all. They came up and included me in their group though.

They were buying Eureka's brother a birthday present. I was surprised to find that someone like that could exist. He sounded so weird. Once they'd picked up some funny electric things, we started to window shop. Then just as we were leaving we saw an ice cream place. Eureka was surprised that it was open, since it's raining. Reiji said, that if people want ice cream in the rain, let them. Then, somehow Reiji ended up buying us all sorbet.

They kept on giggling together. It was kind of annoying.

Dear Diary

I cried in front of the whole class today. I'm not mature at all.

Dear Diary

If I'm going to do this, I need to be strong and put down every detail. We were reading a poem and it reminded me of someone from back in middle school. Then I thought of Eureka and Reiji and I started to feel so frustrated. I didn't want a guy who hurt me, embarrassing me, let me cry. I hate them.

So I started to cry, in front of everyone. It was uncontrollable. I'm not to sure what the other people in the class will say. I didn't explain anything. What must they think of me?

I don't want to have anything to do with that scruffy idiot and his brat or a girlfriend anymore.

I can't drop Shinji and be alone either.

Dear Diary

I hate gym. I hate swimming and I hate stupid teachers who can't teach. I hate falling over an hurting myself then being told that I can still run. I hate having the same injury hurt for months on end because I ran on it. I hate seeing the other cheerleaders looking all so happy.

I hate Hikari running ahead and looking all cute whilst she does it. I hate the way her 'friends' all cheer her on.

I hate high school. I hate the way that the roof is so much fuller than all the anime said it would be. I hate their being no where to be alone.

I wish I was home educated.

Dear Diary

Shinji didn't sit with me at lunch today. He was busy talking to Satoshi and Jun, more Satoshi than Jun I think.

I guess he's embarrassed to be around me.

Dear Diary

I've decided to break it off with Shinji. I think that that will be the best thing for me to do mentally.

I just don't want to be involved anymore.

There are much more exciting things going on anyway. Hikari fell over in front of the school but it's wasn't satisfying somehow. I want something more. I want to be ready to take my rightful place and show the school then the world how awesome I am. I feel so constricted like a rope is hanging around my neck and the stool is going to drop if I don't run for it soon. I've been wasting time though. I need to get free soon.

I feel like I say that too much but it's okay since now everyone else will so I won't need to.

Dear Diary

I dropped Shinji. I can't get over what he said. I'll never forget this conversation, ever.

"You can do what you like, Urara kun." He was emotionless.

"Good. I'll be going then." I smiled glad that it was so easy. "Don't miss me too much."

"You say that like we were ever friends. I thought we had an understanding." I stared at him. Of course we were friends. "There only ever was one point in us hanging around each other. Was that not clear from the start."

I couldn't speak. My mouth was dry. I wanted to hit him.

"Friendship exists to stop irritating people interrupting people. When we're together Satoshi is far less likely to interrupt us. Friendship is just like any other interaction: both sides aim to get what they need. What were you expecting?"

I didn't reply. I'd love to say that I turned around and walked off. I didn't though. I just stood there useless.

The thing is that that maybe he's right. I mean we worked together and studied together. That didn't need us to be friends in the sense of liking each other. Surely we only ever had to be loyal to each other. Everyone looked at us as friends so I looked like a better person. Why shouldn't we have been taking advantage of each other? Surely in this closed space this is the only way to survive. Surely survival is the only thing that anyone should ask of anyone.


End file.
